FOOL! For the last time: it is spelled E-X-C-I-T-I-N-G, not E-X-I-T-I-N-G (I spelled the first one too without “c” on the first try, dingbat). You see that? I graduated college with that stupid thingy. Even an overage 3rd grader in section 10 can write that one correctly on the back of his classmate’s yellowish, booger-covered uniform in a bold and Caps lock Times New Roman-fashioned ugly handwriting while blindfolded. I have no idea… I can spell cuntblaster, fucker, Arnold Schwarzenegger or even Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu (it is a name of a hill at the newzealand) with ease, but this word… the word “exi---- exciting”… Why?
I hate it. I despise it (damn, am I the only one who spells “despise” D-E-S-P-I-C-E? am I that stupid?). To tell you, I’m very fond of writing, but honestly speaking… or honestly writing…. Uhmm…. Well it’s kinda awkward don’t you think? I think we’ll just settle in “speaking”. Honestly speaking… I suck at spelling, and occasionally grammar (shit, how do you write “occasionally” without that red zigzag line? I have to right-click on it first to remove it).
Enough with the spelling! Why does this happen every time? In
a moment, you are in the edge of your wildest dreams… then, suddenly, you are
kidnapped from your happiest daydreams by an insidious dogshit that is terribly
molested by the ugliest crocs in the world that you are forced to wear because
they are your loving mother’s gift. Why? WHY?
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| Your mom loves me... why can't you? |
It’s been two-three weeks since my father’s death. Seriously,
it butchered my mind during the funeral. I can’t think properly, I can’t even function
properly. I even had a fight with my older brother because of my damned ugly temper.
I even lied to my friends: I told them that they cannot visit me during the
funeral because it is strictly exclusive only for the personal relatives. I don’t
know why I did that… seriously; I think I just don’t know how to handle this
kind of devastating event. Later on, after some moments of solitary pain and
stale memories that are covering my guts, I just realized how important my
friends are and how I really need them in those times. I just don’t know how to
act properly in many things. You cannot expect me to always do things according
to the tradition. The first time I saw my dad’s body lying on the hospital bed
under the strangely blinding light above his face, I didn’t even cry. I was
awfully shocked that I even asked the doctor to check him again even though I already
realized that he really is dead by touching his right hand. The first thing came
inside my mind: what the hell is going on? What? Or the best way to show my emotional
surge that time is this: ______________. (If you don’t understand it, it means that
I want to hug Mike Tyson’s pet Bengal Tiger. Yeah, that’s the truth. I mean,
who doesn’t want to hug a Bengal tiger when their loved ones just passed away. Everybody
wants to hug a Bengal tiger whenever that thing happens. Everybody knows that!)
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| I call this one "Love Mauling" |
I still have my hangover because of that incident. But sometimes,
the Universe just hates you. Last Sunday, one of my aunts died. Well, could it
be any worse?
The thing is, sometimes… things just have to happen. It doesn’t
mean that if you’re a good boy, then you are exempted from suffering a series
of unfortunate events. We are just passengers; we don’t have the license to
touch the steering wheel. We cannot expect everything to be exactly identical
to what we’ve planned. You thought at first that you are at a very smooth phase
of tetris where every single column of your game is not the same height. But here’s
the painful truth: if the goddamn game wants to piss you off, it will piss you
off… it will shit the evil 2x2 cube on your poor little game whether you like
it or not. That’s life. There is no way in hell to avoid an incident that is
meant to happen. The only option you have is to deal with it. Of course it is
terribly pain in the ass at first. But as long as we can, we should---no; we
must carry on. That one fucked-up 2x2 brick would definitely leave a burning
hole in the tetris wall that you are building. But after a series of new
bricks, that hole will slowly descend until it is finally gone, forever. Not unless
if the program wants to end you, and if it wants to end you, it will.
Oh god!.... what's the topic again?
