7 Musicians That Were Blessed to be Like Jesus Christ

Yeah, it's fair to say that we certainly don't know what Jesus looked like or if his hair is really as blonde as Jennifer Aniston's. But anyway, according to them bible scholars, every image of Him that we see today is purely based on artists' imaginations. And because the very first depictions of Him weren't entirely done until hundred of years later, it's safe to say that Jesus and Chad Kroeger of Nickelback have similarities. No, not really. So, instead of arguing what He (should) looked like, let's stick to the basics. In an effort to showcase the "Messiah's" appearance, I present to you the 7 musicians who seem to be, you know, Jesus Christ. Amen.

7. Dave Grohl

Not only does the picture above depict him to be talking or praying or whatsoever to God, his hair and beard actually do the fucking trick. And according to this article here, Dave is the "great all-rounder of rock 'n' roll Jesusdom." Of course, that includes the time when Nirvana's front man, Kurt Cobain, had yet to decide to dig some bullets and retire. 

6. Chris Cornell

Nope. It's definitely not JC telling Paul, "Alright, you are the rock." Known for his Jesus Christ pose back in the days, Soundgarden's Chris Cornell had certainly proved to us that the Son of God can also be a Rock star. And yeah, sometimes hippie when he and Timbaland once blessed the world with their collaboration. Now, that's not a fucking miracle for a guy like Chris Cornell.

5. Serj Tankian

Although I would really love to place Daron Malakian, System of a Down's guitarist, here, he still can't beat the Jesus-ish charisma that Serj has. I mean, with his beard, hair and structure of face, you simply can't help but question, "Is Jesus Christ an Armenian-American?" And fuck, he gives me that chill every time he sings, sort of a divine intervention, you know. 

4. Steve Aoki

Well, you can say that I might just be over-thinking, and having Steve Aoki in the list is just fucking wrong. But hey, that's my definition of Jesus Christ, with long hair and yeah... long hair. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with an Asian Savior, right? After all, Christ is within us, black or white, chinky or wide eyed. Amen.

3. John Frusciante

Seriously, this man here could just win an award for the best "Jesus-like" ever. The guitar genius and former member of Red Hot Chili Peppers made a perfect embodiment of JC's passion, a display of affection that could top Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ. Well, the photo above can fucking explain it to you. On second thought, I really think Mel Gibson should have took him for the movie and made RHCP's Californication as the film's OST. 

2. John Lennon

Not only is his bigger-and-more-famous-than-Jesus band, according to him and his minions, entitled him the 2nd spot, but he's in fact the pioneer of "Jesus-like" movement. John Lennon's aping Son of God style (see his hair and beard mane combination) had made me foolishly believe of a second coming. Nah, not really; he's nowhere to be found now and I have not heard of him rising from death after three fucking (business) days. 

1. Chad Kroeger

Aside from having similarities with a long-haired, blonde Nicholas Cage, Chad Kroeger is definitely the perfect resemblance of Jesus Christ. From "look at this Photograph" to "hey hey I wanna be a Rock star," Chad Kroeger defies the laws of being Christlike, that is writing songs fucking worst than those of Hillsong's. Okay, let me stop myself there. I don't want to see "Christians" kicking my ass. 

And oh, before I forgot...

You could have made it to the list, Nick, had you had learnt how to strum that fucking guitar.