My Realization Toward Christianity (And Probably Yours Too)

First off, we really apologize if took us ages to write a new article. We've been very busy partying, smoking and banging chicks for the last couple of months. Just kidding! We actually were just watching movies and playing video games because, yeah, we’re a bunch of fucking anti-social geeks.  Now, listen up kids, because we are about to share something cool, something that will enlighten you as a human being.  So, please, if you may gather up and alt-F4 that fucking porno tab –you don’t want Maria Ozawa disturb us during the most enlightening moment of your life. Don’t you?

Inspirational Stories Of Life

A True Story -- by Ronda Rich

Mary Noble and I slid into the ancient red leather and steel booth of a diner in Birmingham and placed our breakfast order.
As we poured cream into steaming black coffee, we heard the shrilling ring of the telephone at the cash register.
"Diner," answered the aging man with silver hair and loose skin that hung in folds around his neck.
He answered briskly but quicker than you could say "eggs over easy," his voice melted like marshmallows dropped into hot chocolate. "Oh, hey honey."
That's what caught our attention. We hushed, raised our eyebrows and leaned closer to eavesdrop better.
"Where are you?" He waited. "You didn't forget your camera, did you?" Another pause. "Be sure to put it in the basket at airport security. Don't walk through the detector with it. Then, don't forget it. You've got your money, right?" Another pause. "OK, sweetheart. Call me first thing so I'll know you're all right."
He smiled. "I love you. Be careful. Bye, sweetheart."
Really, I don't know how we knew, but somehow we reckoned it was his daughter. Women's intuition, I guess. Though, he did seem too old to have a young daughter that he would be talking to like that. He hung up the phone. We smiled sentimentally like women will do because conversations like that touch our hearts.
"Isn't that sweet?" I asked.
Mary Noble nodded. She turned around, craning her neck to look at the man who was returning to the morning newspaper in the first booth. Then, she sold us out.
"That must have been your daughter. It was so sweet."
He chuckled slightly and blushed. "Yeah, that was my girl."
"It's wonderful to hear a father talk like that," I remarked.
He put the newspaper down. "She's 50 years old." Before that comment could stun us, he continued. "She's got MS (multiple sclerosis). It hasn't progressed much in the past five years. She's going to Washington, D.C." He looked out the large plate glass window, studying the morning sunlight that dappled the trees and cars parked along the street. He waited a long moment before speaking again.
"I love that girl so. She's her mama made over." He shook his head slowly.
That scene hangs with me. In a little Alabama diner on a quiet, tree-lined street, we discovered a father unashamed to say "I love you" to a daughter who was half a century old. And, not embarrassed to say it loud enough for the eager ears of strangers.
Funny, the things that will warm your heart when you tuck your manners away long enough to eavesdrop.
Copyright, 2006, Ronda Rich
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Ronda Rich is the best-selling author of “What Southern Women Know (That Every Woman Should)” and “My Life In The Pits,” as well as authoring "What Southern Women Know About Flirting" and "The Town That Came A-Courtin'." She lives in Gainesville, Georgia. Visit Ronda's web site at www.whatsouthernwomenknow.com.

Looks Don't Matter (A.K.A. You're-Ugly-But-I-Love-You-Anyway)

"Looks don't matter." What a beautiful thing to say, and much more to hear from your lover, especially when you weren't blessed with drop-dead gorgeous looks. It makes one feel truly loved, appreciated, accepted, and fuzzy and tingly on the inside. It makes one think "Gee, how lucky I am to be loved by this beautiful motherfucker when I look like I could play Smeagol minus all the CGI!"

      Image source: www.fz09.org

The 7 Common and Tiring Misconceptions About Tattoos

There are a lot of reasons why people want to have tattoos on their bodies. And you yourself may have known of their personal reasons for doing such. Well, it could be that it gives them the chance to look cool, tough and/or macho.  Or sometimes it just allows them to be like their favorite rock stars, take for example Justin Bieber (thanks Yahoo!).

                                                                                               Yahoo!

Yes, her mom is always watching him even his fucking douchebagery.

The Night I Saw Mrs. Dhumavati Burn to Ashes

So, you really think that Miley Cyrus’ ass, which looks like a raw chicken that your mom prepares to cook for dinner, is the weirdest shit you've ever seen since you existed here on this good Earth? Or let’s say last Valentine’s Day was unforgettable yet strange because you happened to date the Unicorn of your dreams, and that you nearly drown your bed with piss. Well, not really. We know, however, that Miley’s butt deserves better recognition than Unicorns. You think so? Oh well, nevermind. Anyway, gather around, go grab some beers (or sodas for all you Jailbaits out there) and maybe some chicken lollipops as well, and hear what Uncle Felix has to say.

                                                                                                           Key Ingredient

Yes, 100% Miley's and just to be clear I'm Asian, not black.

Gracias Adios!

Tack Farväl
takket farvel
Merci au revoir
χάρη αντίο

Благодаря свидания

شكرا لك وداعا

zahvaljujući zbogom

Salamat Paalam

Reader, I don't know who you are and you don't know me and we may never know each other in this lifetime or in this Universe but whatever that is bothering you, whatever that's causing you pain and trouble, whatever that's giving you stress and burden, whether it's you who should be carrying that burden or not, be it minute or tremendously huge, be it past, present or future, be it your spouse, your lover, your secret lover, your work, school, children, responsibilities to your self, to your family. Emotions you need to suppress. Rules and regulations and more rules and regulations you have to fucking follow, like who the fuck made them anyway? To the Society that gives you all of these expectations. 

7 Types of People You Should Shun

As humanly as possible, we strive to enjoy and appreciate life from a perspective together with people that acknowledge our distinctions as an individual destined for a greater purpose. The hunger for happiness is an innate desire that no flora and fauna could ever understand nor grasp the meaning behind it. In fact, this euphoria is even amplified when we are surrounded with (interesting) Homo sapiens from all walks of life. Simply said, establishing a relationship (i.e. affair, friendship, etc.) with other people is as normal as eating three times a day. We are humans, and we correlate – the focal part where one depends or affects on another. You definitely can’t be a lone ranger for your entire fucking life. Dude, we all need to bond with other humans. This is what makes us different from other living things such as cacti and horses.

However, the possibility of a person to build a connection or rapport with another person is as the same as the possibility that he/she can completely abolish a well-founded relationship. Imagine: As we are continuously blinded by what we see (for it’s a nature for humans to be visual), we tend to forget how to differentiate what’s right from wrong. Trust me, I heard plethora of stories about friendships gone wrong because of overfamiliarity, disrespect, betrayal and things of such nature. And surprisingly, these are all due to selfishness and/or greed (of course, there are other reasons, but these terms stand out). And what I’m saying is not only about friendship; this goes the same with having a romantic or fuck-purpose relationship. And later will you realize that there’s something wrong; that this is entirely because of how fucking dumb you are to be influenced with people that are completely fucking dumb as well.

7 Proofs Why Modern Technology Makes People Dumb

Using sophisticated tools has been the hallmark that made our species distinct from the other animals that also utilize much simpler tools. I know this because I don’t have a life that’s why I flip on Nat Geo because I find watching lions in the Savanah that feed on carcasses of Wildebeests weirdly satisfying. I think it’s a pretty nice way to destress. But I’m sure I’m not the only one who does that, right?....I mean.. right..guys? 

Eherm, Well, anyway, there’s nothing really new about this article. It’s been written many times over in so many magazine sites only that they’re presented in new wrappers. It’s just that we, the Culprits, decided to write this article because  Alvin was drunk last night and he wanted to vent some shit out because he’s a smart guy and smart guys tend to drink more inorder for them to tolerate dumb people. And note that the level of one’s IQ is directly proportional to the number of dumb people he feels surrounded with. So yeah, Alvin is one miserable fuck (j/k buddy). Anyhow, without further ado here we present Alvin’s rants last night written in a slightly sober manner.

#7. Mobile Phones Cause Vehicular Accidents

                                                                                                          Online Schools

The Paradox of Life

As I welcomed the morning dew after a very tiring battle at work, I realized that, in one way or another, beneath every soul living on this planet, is the inevitable paradox we have to live with. Sadly, my two cents, we can't alter its existence.

"You are doomed to make choices. This is life’s greatest paradox."

—Wayne Dyer 

I hate it when others call me fat, but I love the luxury of stuffing food in my stomach. I hate it when my mom gives me plethora of errands, but, from time to time, I beg money from her. I hate it when I used to get low grades at school, but I love to waste my night partying with sober people. I hate it when my knowledgeable professors scold me for not coming early, but I love waking up late. I hate it when my dog barks so fucking loud that I want to slaughter him, but l love the fact that he saved my ass just last week. I hate it when my articles turn out to be plain futile, but I love sloppy writing. I hate it when, in just a couple of days, I’m totally broke after receiving my salary, but I love spending my money recklessly. 

The Church and I

Yesterday, my wife and I, together with our fluffy boy, Brielle, went to our local parish church. We had to set a date for our son’s christening, which we agreed to schedule on the 15th of this month. Although I’m not comfortable going to a Catholic Church, not because I hail Satan and his minions or I’m a self-proclaimed agnostic, I had to stick with the plan and play the father part. So, yeah, we went straight to the office, arranged the required papers, and waited for our turn to be interviewed by the parish priest (which took almost 2 hours before we finally got our turn). The atmosphere inside made me felt eerie and uneasy. Not because of the religious statues, where devotees worship and pray to, that were present, but nostalgia suddenly came into my inner senses. Later, I found out that I was in deep reverie – my mind was summoning pictures of what my life used to be. Hence, to pacify the situation, I chose to break the limbo with a stick of cigarette.

The Cucumber Diary

As I was paving my way through the internet for my “supposedly post,” I chanced upon this very strange article, which you probably have had heard years before. I know this news is pretty old enough to even discuss it here in our blog. But hey, I can’t help it especially if the reports are really funny to the point that I even questioned myself: “Just where were you that time, Dude?” Anyway, if you’re wondering how a cucumber would go inside a person’s butt, then, we are on the same page. I can’t even imagine how the scenario would exactly be. A Philippines showbiz talk host, however, by the name of Jobert Sucaldito, made this bizarre setting possible. During that time, he had been admitted to the hospital due to a cucumber-butt-invasion. Yup, you heard it right–a five (5) inch green cylindrical fruit was found inside his bottom. And, as I've mentioned, it really puzzles me. But, the thing that caught me most is his explanation to why such event happened.

The Tale of the Caveman: Fastfood Chronicles

So after a wholenight’s shift and my body clock still adjusting, (It’s been a hard night’s day and I've been workin’ like a dog) my cave man nature inevitably kicks in. Not that I’m not already a cave man during my energetic hours, what I mean is after I’m all tired from work, I sort of devolve about two stages backward,

Premature Victory: Unjustified

“To deprive a man of his natural liberty and to deny to him the ordinary amenities of life is worse than starving the body; it is starvation of the soul, the dweller in the body.” -Mahatma Gandhi

Same old faces, same travesties. Same old games, same old promises.

TheGuardian.com

Women: The Damsels In Distress

Let’s admit it: We men are hilariously arrogant and insensitive when it comes to our women. Either we are consciously or unconsciously aware of what our actions might lead into; we still tend to play the good guy. If we did something wrong like forgetting to greet them (women) a happy 1st year anniversary, we occasionally pacify the situation with never-ending promises: “Dear, I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you. I swear.” And to spice up a little bit, hugs and kisses would be the finale. Simply put, that’s how tricky we are. We fail to recognize the importance of the present situation. Call it an unstable thinking, but it’s true. Men’s feeling towards women is often imprecise. However, that doesn't mean it’s always the bad side. Our indifferences can sometimes lead to a better fruit. This is where we make our relationships a hell of a rollercoaster ride–fun and exciting. We just need to be in the right place at the right time, though.

7 Things to Do When You're With Your Lady

I'm not talking about just being with a lady like with her at a bar or just hanging out. Instead, I'm conveying about a relationship here -- something that comes with intimacy. So, this is for you guys out there who value their beloved girlfriend and/or wife. And, believe it or not,  this is coming from a simple big guy like me, okay? However, I'm not saying that I'm a love guru or whatsoever. I'm too far to be even one. Anyway, I bet it takes more than 7 things if it was from a woman's perspective. Listen up men: We were born for this. It's that we have spent our whole life in training without us even noticing it. You will surely get what I mean if you read through the end. As you may...

On The Flipside Of Davao City

For over twenty-something years of existence, I barely see myself living in another place except Davao. It seems that the city has got it all covered for me: Beautiful beaches, mouthwatering cuisines, sophisticated musical bars, eye-gawking sights, etc. This is not to mention the hospitable Davaoeños who’ll embrace you with smiles and loveliness. Indeed, Davao city is an exceptional one–there’s no doubt about it. However, I can’t help, but notice some disturbing truths within the city–something that I became aware of since the past few years.  I guess these are just inconvenient realities we need to chance upon.

Welcome To The "SELFIE" Mania

Wherever you may be in the world, you certainly have encountered the term “Selfie.” And, it's almost everyday, right? If yes, we're on the same page, bro. Well, if not, where on Earth have you been? The ever-famous Selfie, wherein no dictionary can ever define and even the Microsoft word puts a red line underneath it (you might try if you don't believe me), is an act which derives from too much obsession to oneself. Or, in layman’s term, this comes with taking pictures of yourself while doing your best to look good like pouting your lips. Occasionally, you would perceive such manner in social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, and, most especially, Instagram. Again, if you think I'm lying, go and check this sites and you'll certainly see the Selfie Mania I'm talking about.

7 Ways To A Useful Beer Belly

From time to time, you want to get off from your bed and just do some workout. You want to achieve that “Channing Tatum” body you've always wanted, but it seems that fate doesn't allow you. It’s either you’re cluttered with paper works or you’re just way too busy to even think about it. Or it could be that you’re just too lazy to put on some muscles and do weight lifting in the gym. Of course, it’s quite tiring especially if the weather is very gloomy to even be disturbed by an alarm clock. On the other hand, which is primarily your toughest concern, you simply want to get rid of that ghastly beer belly of yours. You find it very annoying, most especially, if you want to go outside and people kept asking, “How many months, bro?” Isn't it infuriating? Are you not alarmed? I know exactly how it feels. Trust me. I too have the same scenario like yours, and I've been dying to shun this fixated beer belly since the time it bulged.

Kuya Ed’s: The Simple Yet Satisfying Restaurant

Since I'm a food lover and my beer belly speaks of it, I can't merely resist the excitement I get when eating. Yes, you heard it right. If others say that eating is some sort of espionage, mine is quite different. The former is simply my niche. Call me swine or slob, but I can think and act better when my stomach is full. Well, everybody wants to fill that ever-empty-stomach especially after a long day. Although you might not believe me, food concoction is one of the reasons why I enjoy tasting (and eating, of course) the different mouthwatering dishes that a restaurant may offer. By the way, let me just remind that this is not a food blog. It so happens that one of the Culprits is a culinary lover. I may try writing more about food, though. What do you think?

The Hypocrites Behind The Hypocrites

Few days ago, I posted about a leaked video of lovers, Chito Miranda and Neri Naig. Personally, I have nothing against the couple; they were just trying to explore the world of intimacy and affection.  We all have our own darkness and sometimes, we think like a porn star. Hence, I assume it’s not right to judge somebody’s iniquities. But hey, I’m no priest. Trust me. Besides, we've seen various video scandals that are pretty much more intense than this. So, for me, it’s nothing compared to the previous ones. Filming a private romance is still not a good idea, though. Nevertheless, as I chanced upon various comments from seemingly affected strangers, I came to discover a group of people which I’ll dubbed, “The Hypocrites Behind The Hypocrites.” Eureka!