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18 November 2013

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Jean-Claude Van Damme's Epic Split on Volvo Trucks and Why Steven Seagal Should be Scared

Yeah, it's not a doubt. Steven Seagal can't split like Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Let's say, you woke up one day, chanted your morning prayer and decided, "Hey, fuck this. I want to know how to split." Well, it's indeed a silly idea to ever think about especially on a dull Monday morning. But hey, you can't blame yourself if last night you fucking dreamed of a  gymnast. Yes, I just fucking dreamed of a big fucking gymnast with a fucking mustache. Oh, was that Freddie Mercury? Nah, I don't think so. Anyway, thanks to my gymnastic-fantasies I came to discover this viral video of Jean-Claude Van Damme teaching Steven Seagal how to do an out of this world roundhouse kick.
jean-claude-van-damme-teaching-steven-seagal-how-to-eat-snake
                                                                                      Rama Screen

And he also taught Stevie how to eat a rattle snake. Yum

Of course, I wish that's how Volvo Trucks had their advertisement done instead, but yeah, it still an ass-kicker especially with Van Damme on it. And when I say that, it's awesomeness is similar to or maybe, just maybe, way better than Chuck Norris' unanticipated appearances.


According to a Volvo representative, this was done in a single take, and if ever Seagal is praying for Van Damme to have leg cramps, he should better be a devout Catholic. The staff, however, admitted that they had to use some safety lines, which are not visible in the video, to ensure that the action star is safe. Of course, they still need him to shoot another split, but this time, it'll be on boats. Well, it just shows how Van Damme's badassery can be just fucking epic especially when you just woke up from a dream you can't fathom to be possible. And I wonder, what will Steven Seagal's response be? Would he finally decide to make a movie where his villains can finally fucking hit him? God, that would be a better fight story than Twilight. Seriously. 

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