7 Ways To A Useful Beer Belly

From time to time, you want to get off from your bed and just do some workout. You want to achieve that “Channing Tatum” body you've always wanted, but it seems that fate doesn't allow you. It’s either you’re cluttered with paper works or you’re just way too busy to even think about it. Or it could be that you’re just too lazy to put on some muscles and do weight lifting in the gym. Of course, it’s quite tiring especially if the weather is very gloomy to even be disturbed by an alarm clock. On the other hand, which is primarily your toughest concern, you simply want to get rid of that ghastly beer belly of yours. You find it very annoying, most especially, if you want to go outside and people kept asking, “How many months, bro?” Isn't it infuriating? Are you not alarmed? I know exactly how it feels. Trust me. I too have the same scenario like yours, and I've been dying to shun this fixated beer belly since the time it bulged.




But, as I went over this big dilemma of mine, I found a way to pacify the distinction of my beer belly. First and foremost, I have to understand that I’m a lazy person. Seriously, I’m really a lazy one. Yet because of this recognition, however, I managed to discover ways on how to make our beer belly useful. Truthfully speaking, the acceptance was quite hard that I feel like consulting a priest and confess my sins. I thought I was being cursed. It was not that easy. Nevertheless, like how every Kardashian survives daily controversies, I need to be strong too. So, here I am; I found sanctuary and freed myself from the beer-belly-nightmares.

1. The Beer Belly Pillow

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When I noticed that my tummy is starting to have its own life, I was afraid that I may look like a 9 months pregnant woman in no time.  But then again, like what my religious friends always preach to me, “worrying is a sin.” Hence, I didn't worry about my salvation and the truth behind my belly. Instead, I allowed my wife to have it as if her own favorite pillow. My beer belly became useful after all and, at the same time, it helped me get out from the abyss of worrying. I found salvation! By the way, she sleeps like a baby every time she puts her head on my beer belly.

2. Have Your Hands Rest on It While Watching Movies

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I usually do this when I’m at a movie theatre watching my favorite Samuel L. Jackson films. It perfectly fits with the ambiance of the place. At first, I didn't know that I was already exercising my second discovery to a useful beer belly. It never entered my innocent mind. Technically, it came naturally. I guess the gods were good after all. Now, you may want to try this and I guarantee you, you’ll see the world (and the movie) from a better perspective–not from a “Channing Tatum” view, though.

3. Your Son’s/Daughter’s Stepping Stone

"Where's my son' s at?"

When my son was already 4 months old, he was really eager to walk. But of course, he needed that support to do such. Thus, I was there as an audience and aider to every wiggle of his two sleek legs. However, as his weight is multiplying each month, carrying him two-handed is quite hard. I need to have a support –something that would allow him to exercise his legs. Fortunately, my awesome brain thought of a very great idea. So, there goes my tummy, a place where my son lands his feet to perform his what-are-you-doing movements. He jumps, stomps, jumps and stomps again and lastly, he poops. It’s quite epic, eh?

4. The Playground

"Then, you get tired playing. Imagine the belly, please."

I mentioned above that my tummy has become a learning avenue for my son. He finds it as a niche for his jumping, stomping and pooping endeavors. Eventually, I discerned that it’s gradually becoming his playground too. At morning, he performs his usual routine of hopping and tormenting my beer belly while at night he reckons it as a place where he can just lay down and sleep soundly. A wonderful father and son bond, right? Also, he doesn’t mind if I’m asleep and/or just want to rest after a very long day. I guess this is one of the sole purposes why I have a beer belly. Actually, he’s looking to conquer my tummy now.

3.  A Source for Laughter

Hilariously, my friends and relatives see my tummy as a template for jokes. Yes, they seem to ferret out smart jokes through my beer belly. They crack jokes about how big and round it is. On the other hand, my uncles remember the times when their wives were first pregnant. “That’s exactly how big her stomach was when she was just 3 months pregnant,” or “Yours is somewhat the same with 8 months pregnant women.” After which, they’ll all burst into laughter–not minding what I definitely would feel. Well, at least I brought happiness to them.  Oh, see how consistent mine is with soon-to-be moms? You can exactly picture out how large my beer belly is.

2. A Reason for Your Generosity

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When my beer tummy was not in existence yet, I often wear small-sized t-shirts. Unfortunately, when things started to change and this enormous tummy bulged out, wearing them is not an option already. Fortunately for my cousins and so-called-friends, they had the opportunity to have my exceptional clothes. What could I do? It breaks my heart to just throw them in the garbage. So, I had to give them away. This is not to mention the branded jeans and/or pants I have in my closet. Yes, all of them. Well, at least I became generous at that moment. It’s not a hard thing to deal, though.

1. Keep it Consistent

"Beer me more"

While most, if not all, of us beer belly carriers are having a hard time accepting the truth about our tummy, having the guts to play it real is actually easy. It’ll not only boost your confidence, but you can just continue to live as if you have Tatum’s abs. Hence, the best way to start is to have your beers rest on your belly. As simple as that, you’re pretty consistent.  After all, you’re the main reason why that beer belly exists not the beer itself. So, if you’re out there having the time of your life with your friends, office mates, relatives, etc., hold the beer up, drink it till the last drop, place it on your tummy and say: “Is there nothing else?”