7 Things To Avoid When Drunk

Ah, nothing beats the combination of ice cold beer, nonsense talks, new pornhub videos and nuts. What could possibly go wrong?

Here are some pointers that could help you avoid being the talk of the town after a night with nothing but tavern roulette and hardcore beer pongs. Nobody wants to wake up one morning inside a jail or a fish crate. So, without further a due, let me introduce you a list of things to avoid after a rough night of nothing but awesomeness (assuming you’d want the opposite and haves some sort of a brazen fetish, You can stop reading this article and here’s a video of Chuck Norris stopping a chainsaw with his bare hands to make your visit worthwhile).

Rules after Drinking:

 7.       Stop Touching Your Phone if Possible!

Hey... have anyone ever told you that you have a very nice pair of tits?

Calling someone while impersonating Liam Neeson is awesome (in fact, it’s a good way in boosting your self-esteem. Trust me, its science). Taking a picture of the biggest dump that you've ever made is priceless. Catching a photograph of cats having a threesome inside a refrigerator is beyond imaginable. But here’s the thing, you don’t know what you’re capable of doing when you’re drunk. Legend says that cellphones are one of the worst things that you should never touch whenever you’re wasted (worse than guns). Check out www.textsfromlastnight.com to prove this point.

 6.        Do Not Cross the Street, Alone!

Seriously? Do I have to elaborate this one? 

no, you would never, ever end up like this after a stupid accident

     5.       You Can Stop Flirting With the Strangers

so... I'm attractive you say...

Have you ever heard of beer goggles? Well, for those of you kids who don’t know such thing, it is the way of our brain saying “dang you for getting me drenched in alcohol, now make out with this ugly bitch because she looks like Lindsy Fonseca on your cloudy eyes!”. The more you get drunk; the more people around you become better looking (especially the opposite sex. At least, beer goggles haves such decency of not bringing you to the extremes of hardcore gayporn). But if you think that you are hanging out with smoking hot chicks with no exceptions, then go ahead and bath yourself with piss colored awesome malt beer, not literally though. Otherwise… well, if you think there’s some lady with mustache in your booth, then play Russian roulette and hope for the destiny to be good at you (I know some of you haves this some kind of a monster fetish. Have a good time buddy).

     4.       Avoid the Big Folks

you think this is a game kid?....

Hey there lonely drinkers. I know you’re going through a very tough time because your RAN online account has been hacked (for god’s sake, fine…. Let’s use Diablo III because RAN online makes me puke for some reasons). Here’s the thing, people will lose nerve if you punch them in the throat; do i even need to type that? So, if you really want to destroy someone’s face, please have mercy on your own self and do not mess with a bouncer or a bodybuilder. At least find someone you think you can dispatch so easily.

      3.       STOP TOUCHING THE SCISSOR!

but last night... this... is... a... brilliant idea

Frustrated on your hairdo? Don’t touch the scissor when your drunk or else, that frustration would end up in a suicidal tendency when you wake up next morning and realizing that you’ve cut your bangs on your own. No, seriously, this entry is about the sharp objects. Whatever your mood is, please never ever touch any dangerous things.

     2.       Drunk Driving

Let’s assume your life don’t suck and you own a car (Yes, I hate you if you have one! But that does not mean that I am insecure. No seriously dude… whatever!). It’s seriously a big no-no. You’re not only risking yourself in the stupid line, but also those folks behind you as your passengers if there’s any. Not only those passengers that you might have, but also those other vehicles around you. Seriously dude, drunk driving is not cool! (Although to be honest, it would be awesome to actually witness a car accident).

      1.       Avoid Passing by the Granny’s Whorehouse… At All Costs!

Of course,who doesn't love oral?

Oh, so you puked and someone posted your photo on the internet. You think that’s pain? YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT PAIN IS! Spareyourself from the horror and go home after a rough night. Nothing good happens after 2:00 a.m. I tell you. You don’t want to end up under a 47-year old not-MILF lady who haves a caesarian scar above her “pleasure-crack”. Not unless you have Oedipus complex, that’s a completely different story.