Okay stop right there, I know what
you’re thinking. First of all, this one is not about that endless surge of “top
10 gruesome fairy tale” stuffs that you recently read in several article
websites. Here, I wanted to talk about a quite similar stuff, something like,
their cousin. Yeah, I want to talk about children’s book. Well, what’s up with
them?
The truth is, not all the
children’s book is as innocent as you thought they were. In fact some of them
are even banned because of their quite very inappropriate content for children.
Imagine reading your child gay stuffs, violence or, well you know, out of this
world weirdness. They are like Red Hot Chili Peppers’ album because well, they
contain blood, sugar, sex and magic. Well kids, here comes the top 7 most
controversial children’s books.
7. And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson. Do gay
penguins go to hell?
Well, nothing’s too fancy. It’s
about the story of a penguin couple who hatched an egg and named the baby
penguin Tango. What’s wrong with that? Isn’t that sweet? Well, spare the word
“sweet” because the couple is both male penguins. Yeah, this couple is composed
of two bro penguins that just started bowing to one another.
Yeah, this children’s material has
won many awards because of its uniqueness but well, we all know that we cannot
please everyone. It also gained tons of criticism regarding to same-sex
marriage and well, I just guess that many people don’t want to believe that gay
penguins do exists and even if they could, perhaps they are not sure whether it
will go to hell or not.
6. The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen. Tits
galore
Let’s get things straight. A
mermaid got an itch for human skin and decided that she finally
got enough of
her scale and her complete lack of vagina. So, she gave up her fish-ish body to
gain humanity and finally got laid to a human prince. Then they lived happily
ever after. Also there are witches. Oh by the way, Little Mermaid is topless
and I just thought you should know that.
What’s up with this one? Well, who
doesn’t love tits? It also experienced a barrage of inquisitions because of,
well… tities. Any questions?
5. Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling. The more, the
merrier
It drew serious amount of
attention due to its several intriguing content: witchcraft, wizardry
(seriously? Wizardry? Isn’t that cool?), hatred and dark content. Head teacher
Carol Rockwood from St. Mary's Island Church of England school in Chatham, Kent
explained that "The Bible is very clear and consistent in its teachings
that wizards, devils and demons exist and are very real, powerful and dangerous
and God's people are told to have nothing to do with them." Then she added
"I believe it is confusing to children when something wicked is being made
to look fun”. What the heck? If you
don’t want anything bad, then I guess you should never tell any story at all.
4. Complete Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm. Happy Three
Friends’ Ancestor
Unfortunately,
it failed to evade the eyes of the cruel critics. The cruelty of the
controversy regarding this book is as bloody as the fairytales inside it. The darkness,
the gore, the melancholy and grim ambient everything that is beautiful inside
this book are the ones that the critics said “not appropriate” for children. What
the heck, there’s only one conclusion for this part: Tim Burton… you’re moved.
3. Where Willy Went by Nicholas Allan. The best answer for a kid’s question: How do
you make a baby?
Unfortunately
it seems that our children’s book writers are running out of animals on the
forest. So, Nicholas Allan made a turning point on this. At first, the main
subject on the cover seems like an albino tadpole. Unfortunately I’m wrong. You
are guessing now what it is? Yeah your damn right… it’s a sperm cell!!!
The story is about a sperm named
Willy whose main goal is to win the race with his 300million sperm friends and
the main price of the race is an egg. Then he won and he became a baby.
Well,
it is a banned book. You’re asking why? Fuck, it’s a no brainer! They are not
comfortable on teaching a child to compete with 300million others in a single
fucking race because it’s very difficult to win!
2. Heather Has Two Mommies by Lesléa Newman. I got the
weirdest boner right now.
Who told
you that lesbian sexy time could never be a great children’s book. Well, the
critics
of course. The story is about a child, Heather, raised by lesbian
women: her biological mother, Jane, who gave birth to her after artificial
insemination, and her biological mother's same-sex partner, Kate.
It is a
book that involves Lesbian relationship so what do you expect. It caused
controversies in the schools and communities on several countries. It raised
tons of questions about the same sex marriage and the discrimination of the
third sex community especially because it is the first book about the lesbian
couple for kids. Seriously, do kids give a fuck about lesbian couple?
1. Daddy's Roommate by
Michael Willhoite. Oh God! Why?
The
book is one of the most odd, bizarre, enigmatic, oblivious, and queer things
that I’ve found I’m telling you. It is about a young boy whose divorced father
now lives with his gay partner, deals with the subject of homosexual parents. Do
you even imagine that kind of scenario? Do you imagine yourself in the role of
the kid?
Of course
it is another type of third sex issue. Well, it is uncommon because it is
intended for the kids. This book is all about “Acceptance of being gay in a
different perspective” whereas the main theme of the book is “Being gay is just
one more kind of love”. There are a lot of things going on here because when it
is published, the Lon Mabon, an anti-gay campaign immediately responds
unpleasantly against the book. During the 1990s, copies of Daddy's Roommate
began disappearing off bookshelves from both school and public libraries as
people borrowed the book with no intention of returning them. And because you
are so lucky, let me give you a nice touch of the book’s sticky aroma.
"Daddy and his roommate Frank live together, work
together, eat together, sleep together, shave together, and sometimes even
fight together"
“Being gay is just one more kind of love, and love is the
best kind of happiness."
Now you
can sleep tight with the sweetest imagination consists of the two dudes wanking
each other with genuine smile on their faces.
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